YOU ARE BEING PERCEIVED BRO (the meme)

[rank1]

Hey! You live here! You exist in this space! You are being PERCEIVED! It’s like a permissions page but goofier and we laugh together about fashion disasters and who chronically spills their protein porridge on their lap.

Fill out this goofy-ass survey! It’s fun if it’s done in-character, but I am not going to lock you in space prison if you don’t.

Name:
Height:
Build:
Distinguishing features:
Wardrobe:
How do you keep your bunk or cabin?
Daily routine:
Fav hangout spot:
Eating habits:
Product from home you’re missing the most:


<B>Name:</B> <B>Height: </B> <B>Build: </B> <B>Distinguishing features: </B> <B>Wardrobe: </B> <B>How do you keep your bunk or cabin? </B> <B>Daily routine: </B> <B>Fav hangout spot: </B> <B>Eating habits: </B> <B>Product from home you’re missing the most: </B>

Comments

Travis Touchdown.... in his own words B)

[rank1]

Name: Travis Touchdown. Also known as the Crownless King or the No More Hero.

Height: 5'10". It's the perfect height because most chicks can wear stilettos without feeling self-conscious.

Build: I'm fit as fuck. I'm not one of those guys with a ton of bulk, though, because I prefer to be agile and because people underestimate me.

Distinguishing features: Most days I feel like I'm one of the few people here who gives a shit about having a personal style and hygiene.

Wardrobe: I've been collecting t-shirts and various memorabilia for most of my life. I got my first limited edition t-shirt at Comic-Con 1989. It was a classic slim-fit black tee with the logo for HAZRE, an arcade game company. At the time they were seen as a low-rent ATARI, but their lead developers are still in the game, so who knows. Anyhoo, I have about four hundred t-shirts in regular rotation, and about three thousand more in storage. The bitch running this place let me have seven. Seven? I'm gonna wear them out washing them with only seven in rotation. Fuck! Anyway, I'd say she picked pretty decently. My classic vintage Bizarre Jelly ringer shirt was a no brainer. I'm not sure why she went with "Love Tits" –– I got that one as a pre-order bonus for a gravure series that ended up being really good, really thought-provoking, but people just see the tits on the print and don't respect the integrity behind the art. Oh, and one shirt isn't even a fucking limited edition. It's a shirt I got printed at a local shop of my own mugshot. Pretty perfect in space prison, right? Anyway, I like how versatile a graphic tee is. I pair them with worn-in jeans, flashy belts and bespoke leather jackets. I have a lot of wristbands. I look great in aviators. It's a great look, and if this place was the kind that made inmates wear striped jumpsuits, I'd fall on my own sword, if you know what I mean.

How do you keep your bunk or cabin?
I'm thinking I'd like to rewire the LEDs in my pod to be pink, but I don't know shit about electronics. Otherwise, I'm looking forward to being able to decorate. There's not a lot of space in there, so even if I could access eBay from this basic-ass communicator, I wouldn't have anywhere to display figures or anything. Maybe there's an artist on board I can commission? It's not the same as official merch, but it just doesn't feel like home unless I'm surrounded by inspiration.

Daily routine:
Pretty fucked up! Can't remember the last time I slept this much, or went to bed before midnight. You know late nights are when the most's going on online, right? But there's none of that here! Just all of us sleeping in our bunks! Fuck. I don't want to get used to that.

Fav hangout spot:
The gym. Keep the door unlocked, assholes.

Eating habits:
Healthy. Even if I'm retired, I try to keep at peak performance. I've had to learn to do a lot of cooking these past few years, living at the trailer park... haven't had take-out in a while. I could still go to town on a Triplet from Tag Team Taco Twins, don't get me wrong, but it's kinda nice getting to stroll into the dining hall and just getting an optimal meal, right? And for free! Can't beat free...

Product from home you’re missing the most:
My fucking beam katana, you thieving bastards!

EMBARRASSING NOTES ON TRAVIS TOUCHDOWN

[rank1]

- shirts are exactly the right length to meet his jeans, which are pretty low-rise, so when he lifts his arms or bends too far over, you see a strip of bare skin. he possibly goes commando. don't want to know.
- when he's bored/stuck standing still, he stretches, poses, etc. dude is almost always moving. he's a fiddler.
- unless he's sleeping or showering, he's wearing the aviators.
- sometimes he does up the buckle on his belt towards his left hip rather than dead center? it's fashion, you wouldn't understand.
- generally a pretty clean person! he has a vain streak. he's rarely seen disheveled or unshaven, and even if there's no hair gel, he is fastidious about his hair, drying it in the right shape with a bit of extra soap.
- sits with his legs wide open like an asshole
- swears so goddamn much
- guaranteed this man has fallen for several fitness/health related MLMs
- openly checks out women + fit men, sorry

[omniavincit]

openly checks out women + fit men

it's fine we don't have those here

[rank1]

don't be jealous, beanpole

[omniavincit]

how do you know his pirate name!!!

[rank1]

travis is aligned with ninja, therefore he is always watching for the details of his sworn enemy, pirates

[expectaspectre]

if he bends over forwards does he get plumber's crack

or does he have an anti-ass like Hank Hill

this is important

[rank1]

a crack, but he is so close to the line that goes into anti-ass that he can't get too cocky

i mean, he does anyway

[expectaspectre]

this dollar store johnny knoxville looking mfer

[rank1]

WITH PRIDE, BABYYYYY

[kaijuice]

losing my mind at this belt situation

also now picturing him as a fiddler crab



appropriately moe

[rank1]

HAHAHA well i'm sure he does have one arm that's more jacked than the other

i lost my mind a little when i saw the belt thing. i was like... does this mfer take off his entire belt so he can take a shit? but no, he must simply thread it the other way or something.

[aposeme]

What would you even commission someone with? We don't have money

[rank1]

Hey, I don't have money back home, either. You fucking barter with people with other goods or labour. You know, like men did before capitalism was invented.

[aposeme]

So like ...

Seashells and bits of dirt? Or-

[rank1]

No, like sacks of potatoes and firewood and pottery and whatever they made with their hands. Goods. With labour.

[aposeme]

Here. Here, on the FAKE SPACESHIP.

I draw. I do not take potatoes as payment.

[rank1]

Bro, there's gotta be something. There has to be something someone can pay you with that isn't cash.

[aposeme]

Did you have to put it like that? Did you have to put it like you ordered the pizza with extra sausage or something and then the Barry White started up?

That's, I feel atrocious for saying that off anon. I hate being a man and over 18 and admitting I know what porn is, someone's going to get pissed off and make a thread with every dumbass thing I've said in the last 15 years without a VPN on. Like everyone doesn't - like it's not culturally pervasive. Like -

I'm in a tailspin. Do you ever notice how fucked up the demographics here are? It's bothering me.

Just. Give me a minute, I'll think of something. We're in prison, we should be, brewing hooch or, or whatever.

[rank1]

Dude. Hold up. I'll get back to the hooch idea in a minute, but first: what's wrong with admitting you know what porn is? Are you one of those really repressed guys? A Mormon or something? You're not going to get very far with commissions if you're afraid of talking about porn. That's where the money is!

[aposeme]

I make movies for Disney, god damn it.

[only in a meme can we say this because in 'official' time most important proper names need to be different for Fantasy World reasons.]

It's live action, at least it's not princesses - I'm verified, people know who I am. They know where I work, they're watching me to wait for me to screw up so they can stop loving me and what I help produce and start fucking hating me and pressuring my bosses to cut me out of projects I built myself.

[shiftedshape]

...Does "No More Hero" mean you are no longer a hero?

[rank1]

Yeah, actually. It just sounds better than the “fuck this hero”

[shiftedshape]

So you earned the title by being a hero people wanted to go away?

[rank1]

Nope. I'm a hero because I killed so many high-ranking killers that the crime rates went down, and then I walked the fuck away instead of letting it consume me.