YOU ARE BEING PERCEIVED BRO (the meme)

[rank1]

Hey! You live here! You exist in this space! You are being PERCEIVED! It’s like a permissions page but goofier and we laugh together about fashion disasters and who chronically spills their protein porridge on their lap.

Fill out this goofy-ass survey! It’s fun if it’s done in-character, but I am not going to lock you in space prison if you don’t.

Name:
Height:
Build:
Distinguishing features:
Wardrobe:
How do you keep your bunk or cabin?
Daily routine:
Fav hangout spot:
Eating habits:
Product from home you’re missing the most:


<B>Name:</B> <B>Height: </B> <B>Build: </B> <B>Distinguishing features: </B> <B>Wardrobe: </B> <B>How do you keep your bunk or cabin? </B> <B>Daily routine: </B> <B>Fav hangout spot: </B> <B>Eating habits: </B> <B>Product from home you’re missing the most: </B>

Comments

[aposeme]

What would you even commission someone with? We don't have money

[rank1]

Hey, I don't have money back home, either. You fucking barter with people with other goods or labour. You know, like men did before capitalism was invented.

[aposeme]

So like ...

Seashells and bits of dirt? Or-

[rank1]

No, like sacks of potatoes and firewood and pottery and whatever they made with their hands. Goods. With labour.

[aposeme]

Here. Here, on the FAKE SPACESHIP.

I draw. I do not take potatoes as payment.

[rank1]

Bro, there's gotta be something. There has to be something someone can pay you with that isn't cash.

[aposeme]

Did you have to put it like that? Did you have to put it like you ordered the pizza with extra sausage or something and then the Barry White started up?

That's, I feel atrocious for saying that off anon. I hate being a man and over 18 and admitting I know what porn is, someone's going to get pissed off and make a thread with every dumbass thing I've said in the last 15 years without a VPN on. Like everyone doesn't - like it's not culturally pervasive. Like -

I'm in a tailspin. Do you ever notice how fucked up the demographics here are? It's bothering me.

Just. Give me a minute, I'll think of something. We're in prison, we should be, brewing hooch or, or whatever.

[rank1]

Dude. Hold up. I'll get back to the hooch idea in a minute, but first: what's wrong with admitting you know what porn is? Are you one of those really repressed guys? A Mormon or something? You're not going to get very far with commissions if you're afraid of talking about porn. That's where the money is!

[aposeme]

I make movies for Disney, god damn it.

[only in a meme can we say this because in 'official' time most important proper names need to be different for Fantasy World reasons.]

It's live action, at least it's not princesses - I'm verified, people know who I am. They know where I work, they're watching me to wait for me to screw up so they can stop loving me and what I help produce and start fucking hating me and pressuring my bosses to cut me out of projects I built myself.

[rank1]

Oh shit, really? So you're in that weird middle ground where you're popular enough to be known but not so popular that you're untouchable? Man, that sucks. I really feel for mid-tier artists, some of my favourite fan artists stopped posting their art on twitter because they couldn't handle the tidal waves of bullshit without the fat paycheck. Meanwhile that fucking hack J*** L*ss***r does some real twisted shit and he just goes to another studio and life goes on.

What's your handle? I'll follow you when we're back on Earth.

cw horrible literary rat torture ? ?

[aposeme]

Why isn't HE here? Somebody kidnap HIM. I'll fucking help. I'll do it. This is me in the end scene of 1984 where Smith finally breaks and screams for the rats to eat his girlfriend instead of him.

I guess it kind of defeats the purpose of that scene if it's just someone I hate anyway.

First of all, not from Earth, second, I've been missing for a fucking month. The rest of my life is not going to be doing my job, it's going to be defined by talk shows that want to ask me about my harrowing experience. No one is going to ever remember me again primarily for what I can do, just for the shit that was done to me. I'm either going to be Patty Hearst or Elizabeth Smart depending on whether or not I get out of here actually believing this load of shit.

.....It's @ _jvolkhov but my finsta is @ mementomaurypovich.

Re: cw horrible literary rat torture ? ?

[rank1]

[Travis repeats those handles at a mutter as he types them into a notepad.]

Dude, leave him there. I don't wanna be bunkmates with scum like that. And you'll get stuck talking to him as the only other industry person here. It'll be like a hell version of Comic Con but without the cosplaying hotties. Anyhoo, if you're not on Earth but you have Disney and Instagram, did Walt planet-hop? How the fuck does that work? That's bugging me more than the kidnapping.

[aposeme]

No -

god I hope not-

It's not, it's -

We're in a meme, let me just explain this while I can.

You know how in Lord of the Rings, Pippin's name isn't really Pippin, it's just Tolkien "translating" a name so it still means little apple?

[rank1]

Sure, he localized his own fictional language.

[aposeme]

Yeah.

[They both grew up in the right years to be total fucking nerds about this on the internet.]

Okay, so. I don't even know what Earth is. Disney's not the guy's name, it's just a big company where I'm from that's got a monopoly on entertainment and aggressively sanitizes everything it touches. Ruthless copyright lawyers. Cult of personality around the founder. Cartoon movies. That kind of thing.

Instagram - that stuff is getting translated along with the rest of English, because if I say the actual name you won't know what in the hell I'm talking about even though we're both trying to communicate about like, a social media website that has pictures and albums and diet pill scams.

[Volk makes a circling gesture.]

All of this shit is happening without my consent, by the way.

[thats because you arent real]

[rank1]

What the fuck? Kind of cool to know all those theories about alternate universes really were that straightforward, but jeez, kind of says a lot about how inevitable some shit is if we all end up in the same place, right? We're all slaves to social media and algorithms and some moron trying to convince you to tape a seed to your ear to improve your concentration. And then there's some kids' movie with princesses.

You're always on about that consent stuff. Like, no one asked to be here. And you're not wrong, but did any of us ask to be anywhere?

[aposeme]

It's -

[LOOK AT THIS GRAPH I MADE ABOUT IT ACTUALLY IM REALLY EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THE PARTS WE HAVE AND HAVEN'T WORLDBUILT YET WE HAVE A DISCORD SERVER AND THE PLOT ACTUALLY COVERS ABOUT THREE HUNDRED YEARS BUT VOLK IS ONLY ALIVE FOR A COUPLE OF THEM]

Shut up. No one wants to see the graph.

What do you mean? Like being born? Yeah, no shit. I didn't want that either, and every day I wish it hadn't happened.

[rank1]

[Travis isn't sure he'd understand the graph even if he saw it, but hey, who doesn't love media made by people who are super passionate about it? That shit is infectious. It makes for good storytelling.

Anyhoo.]

I was thinking like "you can make whatever you want out of whatever you get", but uh... you okay, bro?

[aposeme]

You know what, what if I am? What if it's me that has some perspective on how fucked up life is, and the rest of you are dysfunctional?

I don't know how to make shit out of being kidnapped, Travis.

[rank1]

Shit, me neither, but that doesn't mean I wish I was never born. I'm a pretty twisted person but if I wanted to not exist I'd have a bigger problem than being on this stupid fucking ship.

[aposeme]

It's not me that's twisted. Do you know how many people are depressed? Like three hundred million people and rising? What's going on when you have to drug the shit out of three hundred million people just so that they'll shut up about how life is a fucking nightmare?

But being kidnapped is like, urgent.

No, wait. I made it sound sarcastic. It, it actually is urgent. I want to go home. They're going to sell my stuff off.